They say after doing Bikram Yoga for a little while you grow to like the heat. It’s been a year and a half and I still do not like it. I don’t love it the method I love warm melting chocolate, basking in sunshine or huddling with a book and a blanket with the sound of raindrops beating down my windowpanes.

Yoga Challenge

I don’t crave it or think about the drops of perspiration exuding out of my skin as it heats beyond burning to something more similar to agony. In fact my last 90 days showed me my inmost battle with my practice one with the most basic component of the yoga I like a lot – the forty degree Celsius temperature level.

It seemed bizarre to me that after so long I was still battling it. When it’s crowded my heart begins beating so tough that I feel it might pop out of my chest and smolder on the floor next to me. I was combating to obtain with each course, pacing myself choosing ‘cooler’ areas in the room, doing anything to prevent the oncoming of yoga stress and anxiety, which normally substantially hindered my spine-strengthening series. Hopped up on Vita Coco coconut water (flavored because I dislike the taste of the fruit extremely) and water blown out with Emergen-C incredibly orange electrolyte packets I sol, diered through my challenge (the original sixty days) and afterwards some.

Unlike the last time I did such a difficulty, I hadn’t started with any specific personal quest in mind, simply a family wedding for which I wished to stay clear of looking gluttonous. Nevertheless as time went on, it was obvious I was dealing with something in my subconscious. It was day 92 where insight lastly came. On Day 92 my buddy offered me a tarot reading.

I’ve the tendency to be more superstitious than I want to confess, however this was my very first experience with fortune-telling with the exception of a shady female in New york city who informed me someone whose name started with the letter ‘J’ would’ve a big impact in my life (a truth so vague that number of circumstances might make it ring true), triggering me to think twice when I meet any individual with that preliminary.

I will not bore you with the aspects – however the cards told me to that my mind and quest for control over everything I did was getting in the way of my progress. My reading alerted that while I need to continue to work as difficult to finding focus in my work life, I should let go and allow myself to do well. I tend to over think things, which might do more harm than great.

Suddenly all of it made good sense: the heat, the intense stress and anxiety that I never kept in mind having – it was all part of my need to regulate everything around me. When I began to panic, I’d feel this hostility start to take over, hostility originating from fundamental fight or air travel impulse.

They say exactly what occurs on your yoga mat is a reflection of exactly what’s going on in your outdoors life. I wasn’t allowing my body to adjust to the heat or to learn to like it. I was looking for to preserve control, which unavoidably resulted in me overheating and in many cases experiencing emotions so effective that they brought me near to tears.

Today was day 94. Today was the day I started to release, and permit the heat to become one with my body. If I can discover to let go of what’s taking place in my body, I should’ve the ability to do the same with my mind.